i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
