There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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