There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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