I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
