That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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