For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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