nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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