My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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