even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
