He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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