i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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