I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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