Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
