haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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