Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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