I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize