i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize