it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well you can't waste a boner
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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