I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You did what with his pubic hair?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
