his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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