Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
