It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
