So drunk its hurt
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
