Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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