Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
