everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
