he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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