this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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