I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
