You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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