I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
