Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
