did you get engaged???
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
