Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
