You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
