thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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