I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize