guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's rum buckets o'clock
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
