There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
