The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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