A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize