it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
