best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
