I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
