I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
