yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
