I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this will be a night to untag.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
