We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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