I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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