Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
