who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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