I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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