if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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