I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
