We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
