I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize