yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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