Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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