you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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