He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!