Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life