Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
