Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds
  Replies (60) Good night (2759) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this... http://tfl.nu/5zp7
  Replies (29) Good night (1316) Bad night (5187)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay. http://tfl.nu/cdim
  Replies (26) Good night (1252) Bad night (5961)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14
  Replies (10) Good night (3887) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary' http://tfl.nu/zqo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2925) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning http://tfl.nu/x1eb
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (1762)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/28bg
  Replies (18) Good night (6594) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be http://tfl.nu/zpkd
  Replies (0) Good night (1151) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again. http://tfl.nu/4ubg
  Replies (10) Good night (941) Bad night (2339)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy
  Replies (9) Good night (1428) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants. http://tfl.nu/algc
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury. http://tfl.nu/d7aw
  Replies (8) Good night (509) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry http://tfl.nu/7vhr
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless http://tfl.nu/zehw
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (222)

Randomize