Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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  (303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz
  Replies (1) Good night (2241) Bad night (873)
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  (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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  (714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x
  Replies (42) Good night (1044) Bad night (14916)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.

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  (423): two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars. http://tfl.nu/vo0x
  Replies (35) Good night (959) Bad night (6602)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.

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  (412): Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life. http://tfl.nu/15a6
  Replies (21) Good night (3632) Bad night (843)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (119) Good night (40675) Bad night (1953)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4300) Bad night (1446)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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  (207): Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them. http://tfl.nu/x39b
  Replies (6) Good night (3422) Bad night (1339)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.

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  (516): You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween. http://tfl.nu/nl92
  Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (1231)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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  (641): Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone http://tfl.nu/y7a4
  Replies (10) Good night (1538) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (479)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.

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  (563): I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks. http://tfl.nu/3sv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1735) Bad night (490)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1367) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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  (541): stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms http://tfl.nu/9llu
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.

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  (920): I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence. http://tfl.nu/l65g
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?

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  (513): It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life? http://tfl.nu/tlmc
  Replies (5) Good night (718) Bad night (225)

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