the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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